Thicker Than Water
by Clara Bright
Summary: Barnabas Collins has returned to Collinwood after a 196 year imprisonment with the purpose of starting afresh. But with a household that large and tensions running high, Barnabas finds himself somewhat distracted from resurrecting the family business. Rating may increase. Lots of pairings, mainly Barnabeth and Barnalia
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! So I went to see Dark Shadows three times in the cinema and so have practically memorised all of it. The all characters are totally shippable with each other and a film with that much sex appeal just couldn't escape my fanfiction. This will probably be a multi-chapter and I'm including several pairings here, mainly Elizabeth/Barnabus and Barnabus/Julia. I just loved the whole dynamic of it all.**

**Enjoy!**

**Clara x**

**P.S. Please review and let me know what you think. I'm open to suggestions on where I can go with it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Dark Shadows, Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green or Tim Burton. Unfortunately, that's not possible, but if anyone has any spare, I'm open for donations. I'm making no profits here.**

**Chapter 1**

Ah, Collinwood.

After all these years, it still stood there, proud and majestic, rising up into the skyline. Time and lack of care had rendered it rather dilapidated, but it was still very impressive none the less. I finally felt I was home again, back where I belonged, among the turrets and corridors so familiar to me, the house which I grew up in, the house my family built from the ground up.

The peasant outside said it was still in the possession of the Collins family, and that four remained, four descendants of my noble bloodline. Well, none directly descendant from me as I never had the chance to procreate. I would have liked to though, one day, only that was made impossible after I lost her...

No, I told myself I would not dwell on the past when I was about to start my new life.

1972, the year the peasant said it was, 196 years I had been trapped in that box, no wonder I was a little stiff. I felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of those nice worker people I had brutally murdered without a thought. Still, it wasn't _my _fault I had been turned into a vampire, or locked in a box.

In fact, I can think of someone who is responsible for _both_ those misfortunes...

Swinging the doors to my beloved mansion open, I stepped inside, followed blankly by the shaggy, simple man I had hypnotised. I commented on the truly decrepit state of the interior, more so than the outside, and then recited to myself all that I knew of the inner most workings of my home, which is everything, of course.

I was then distracted by the two children sat in front of a box of light. The girl looked to have wandered in after her nightly shift at the gentlemans' club and the boy stared up at me with the oh-so familiar vacant expression of youth. I must admit, the stoning comment did hurt me slightly, and yet smug I was to inform the young harlot that any attempt on my life by an angry mob had been futile. I asked my new servant if they allowed her type on the site, to which he just stared vacantly, poor fellow.

Still, manners first. I extended my hand to shake that of the young man, who was now looking at me with what I could only call amusement.

"Children, get away from that man."

Authorative tone, rich accent, power in the address. In fact, I knew before I turned around that I had been addressed by the lady of the house. She stood at the top of the stairs, dressed predominantly in black, a widow in mourning perhaps? Her stance did suggest authority, hands on hips, boldly facing forward. Yes, I thought, she must be a Collins.

She descended rather hurriedly. I had obviously managed to frighten her somehow. The children? Honestly, I was only being friendly!

I approached accordingly, however and met her at the base of the staircase I had watched my father design, and then build. She was the first woman I had addressed and indeed seen up close in nearly two decades and I was not disappointed. Blue eyes scanned me, as if seeking out hostility, the firm set of her jaw and her strong stance showed just how protective she was of the children. Hers? They must have been. I could see some of her in the girl, not so much in the boy though. The intensity of her scrutiny threw me off slightly, she tilted her head, blonde curls falling over her shoulders. Yes, she was definitely a Collins, she had our stare and our cheekbones. She was a rather impressive woman, not to mention being, well...beautiful.

"He says his name is Barnabus Collins." Said the young boy.

"And I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker." Said the harlot.

"A word, please." She said. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but still attempting to be polite.

She led me into the drawing room and shut the door behind her. I took t upon myself to inspect the room and the changes to it. Strange dolls we stood on tables, and diagrams of some sort of witchcraft that buzzed when I touched it.

"If this is some kind of joke, consider it played. If it's money you're after, you've been misinformed. But whoever you are, you are not to look at those children again, am I clear?"

Her devotion to her family was clearly admirable, as I then told her. And I could understand her suspicions. I noticed the pictures on the table, other Collinses I presumed. I decided to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"As a Collins, surely you are aware of the darkness that had long plagued our family?" I turned around to face her and analysed her reaction. She pressed her lips together and nodded slightly.

"You mean our curse? Witches, ghosts, vampires...myths." She said, clearly convinced they were nothing but stories, and yet the legend had been passed down all these generations.

I watched as she backed into a table with her hands behind her back. She must have been in her forties, but very few lines marred her otherwise porcelain complexion, and she had the figure of a much younger woman. I couldn't help but notice that she had _excellent_ birthing hips...

"And like so many before you, I suppose you are here to rid us of them...for a price, of course." It seemed that others had come here and tried to use our reputation to exploit money out of these people...how...unacceptable.

I turned to face the fireplace, the one I knew so well. I ran my elongated fingers over the smooth, expertly carpentered wood, this was the most special part of the house, though full of many secrets. That gave me an idea.

"I can prove I am different..."

"Oh?" She raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"Firstly, I do not come seeking money, rather...provide it. Secondly, I know the body of this mansion as well as my own..."

Ah, yes, I remembered what that lever did!

"Every nook, every cranny."

I pulled and watched a panel in the wall swing open, inside was what appeared to be the stash of a tailor, as brightly coloured string and wool, fashioned into dozens of different patterns, hung from the walls.

She told me it was where she kept her...macramé...was it? Either way, though she didn't look it, she sounded...not shocked...just unnerved.

What a terrible misuse, I informed her thusly. She made the point that secret doors are rather commonplace in old houses, and asked if I had a thirdly, which of course I did.

"Tell me, what do you know of Barnabus Collins?" I asked.

She paused for a moment and collected her thoughts.

"Just legends really. He was confident and strong. Admired by all." I smiled at that, how delightful that my memory had been preserved so positively.

"But he believed our family was curse and when his parents were killed, he went mad." Her expression went soft and almost sympathetic "Kept insisting a witch had turned him into a vampire..."

I swallowed at the painful memory. So they thought I was mad? They thought I was a lying, deranged lunatic, driven to insanity by grief? Well, I'd soon set the record straight.

"And what is known of his death?"

She paused, and frowned.

"Nothing, not that I can think of..."

She looked over her shoulder at me, confusion flickering over her delicate face. Maybe she was catching on...

I couldn't stop the smirk spreading across my face. I walked forward to stand in front of the huge ornate fireplace and strategically pushed my cane into a well-designed, unassuming knot in the wooden floor, twisting it sharply. I watched her eyes widen as the wooden design itself started to move and come to life. The clouds and waves carved into the wall moved backwards and forwards, the wolves howled and the whole fireplace slowly slid back to reveal the underground passageway that had been hidden for so many years, Collinwood's best kept secret.

"I am Barnabus Collins." Yes, I had finally returned. The house and I were linked inescapably, she must see that now! Her expression was almost unreadable. I could interpret shock, disbelief, suspicion, fear and then realisation, all within the space of a few seconds.

"That means...you're a..."

"A vampire, yea madam, and regrettably so. But more importantly, I am a Collins, and I give you my word of honour, neither you, nor any under this roof, need fear my cursed nature."

Something I said seemed to comfort her somewhat and she visibly relaxed. Odd, I didn't expect to be believed that quickly. Then again, blood always has been thicker than water.

I felt a huge tension lift. 196 years in a coffin six feet under had woven all sorts of doubts into my mind, and yet my faith in the wealth of family was restored. I was finally home again, and accepted by someone already. What an age this was when a woman of her status was so instantly believing and open-minded, of course, maybe that was just the Collins family. Either way, I had a feeling we were going to get along perfectly, which was just as well as I didn't plan on leaving any time soon, and I, now an oddity at best, was going to need as many friends as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter's up! Thanks to anyone who reviewed, your suggestions were duly noted.**

**Chapter 2 **

Hard as it was to believe, I was rather enjoying this new era I had walked into. The people seemed friendly enough, and though I was having a bit of trouble fitting in with the current customs, I was learning more every minute.

After showing Elizabeth the fortune that had been right under their drawing room for nearly 200 years, I felt I gained her trust even more. She promised I could remain in the house, as long as the secret cave, and my cursed nature, stayed our secret.

It wasn't long before I found myself sat at the head of the table the next morning, whilst the peasant, feeling a bit more...lively this morning, served us breakfast. I had been formerly introduced to the children and Roger Collins, Elizabeth's brother. The children seemed pleasant enough, I was correct about the boy not being Elizabeth's, he was her nephew. Carolyn, the girl, was a rather stubborn child, full of vim and vigour, but obviously needed a firm hand. I did not approve of someone so young dressing in so little clothing, and without a husband either. No, she continued to give me odd sideways glances all through the meal; I decided I would do best to steer clear of her. The boy was slightly more polite, yet he had, unfortunately, lost himself. The strange, dreamy look in his eyes showed me he was somewhere else entirely, but lonely. His father hardly seemed to acknowledge his existence, focussing more on his breakfast and quizzing me than the far-away look of his son. He was not particularly polite, but curious, and not entirely unpleasant. Then the doctor came in, she was rather a sight to behold. Such orange hair I've never seen, contrasting oddly with her pale skin and green eyelids (a disease maybe?) and yet her features were pleasant, and her outward aura, though dishevelled and careless, was one of knowledge. But alas! A woman doctor! I never thought it possible! What an age when the inferior sex could participate actively in the medical profession. Then again, I had promised myself I would keep an open mind, not to mention the fact that out of the examples of the two genders I had met so far, I was finding the women much more interesting, yet the entire family seemed to lack the welcoming nature of Elizabeth. She seemed to be playing the mother of the household, despite only having the one daughter.

I must admit, I watched her reactions at the other end of the table as I commenced my conversation with the congregation and she winced slightly at certain points; when I mentioned my two centuries of consideration, which she quickly covered up (my mistake), then when I voiced my thoughts on the female doctor, my "metal allergy" and then asking about horses.

Then my breath caught in my throat, my blood froze in my veins and my voice box closed tightly when a seventh person entered the room. No...it...it couldn't be...walking serenely into the room was none other than...

"Josette!" I said, standing immediately.

She looked at me oddly, and then the boy, David, said her name was Vicky, and that she was his governess. Of course, it wasn't actually my long lost love, she died centuries ago, and she wasn't coming back. But the resemblance between this modern girl and my beloved was indeed remarkable. And with a name like Victoria, how could anyone shorten it? Every syllable was as beautiful as the next. It took me a moment to realise I was saying this out loud, her hand firmly grasped in my own. She looked at me rather oddly and then we both returned to our seats as Roger broke the silence. She had the exact same innocent, sweet face as my dear Josette, but she wasn't my lost bride. I mustn't let this distract me from my purpose. I must concentrate all my efforts on restoring this family to its former glory.

As I thought this, I glanced up and met Elizabeth's blue eyes. She smiled gently and I returned it. Yes, this would be my sole purpose. I mustn't be distracted by human desires.

-)(-

My first meeting with Angelique Bouchard after 196 years was not a pleasant one. She was just as wicked, vicious, and seductive as she had ever been. It seems, as with vampires, witches also suffer from lack of aging. She looked exactly the same as I remembered her, only her hair was a rather luminous shade of blonde, unnatural, I thought. She had adopted scarlet lipstick and was dressed in more immodest clothing than Carolyn, and she _dared_ to put her lips on me after all that she had put me through! 200 years in a box! Admittedly she was looking...satisfactory, if not stunning...but no! I would not succumb to her physical charms any longer! I was furious with her suggestions and accusations, and even 196 years in the future, she still managed to best me.

I let my anger and sorrow pour out later in the presence of Elizabeth, who made some valid points on her own observations. She pointed out that if Angelique did indeed hate me, she would have killed me and been done with it, instead she chose to kill everyone I ever loved and put effort into cursing me.

Indeed, it seems that by a series of unfortunate circumstances, and still after nearly 2 centuries, Angelique still had some kind of twisted love for me. I knew it had been a mistake the first time with her, but I was young and naive and she was so obviously beautiful and made her intentions very clear, and I just couldn't resist. Of course, I knew it could never get serious, I have never been one for prejudices, but I was the son of the lord of the manor, and she was just a servant. I had told her this on several occasions, yet she seemed determined to force me to feel something for her, as it then soon became apparent that she felt something for me. I often wondered why I never did fall in love with her, she was...charming, and willing and really devoted and passionate, but I just never felt anything more than friendship and lust for the secret witch. I presumed it was because I had always detected something not right about her, something sinister and grotesque, lurking under the pristine surface of her being. It appears I was right on that account. I fell in love with Josette because she was kind and caring and subdued; everything one looked for in a respectable wife. She was more on my status, my parents approved, and she was so soft and warm at heart, so full of life and love, with natural, pretty looks, rather than being fiery, stubborn and in general possessive as Angelique was.

While sat in the drawing room with Elizabeth, my forehead resting hopelessly against a strange musical instrument that was issuing a rather irritating beat at regular intervals before she turned it off, I realised that it might be just as hard to say no to Angelique as it ever had been. She had obviously not lost any power, and I knew evil deeds and dark magic were not beyond her when she wanted her way. Yes, my simple "new life" plans were slowly draining away.

But then Elizabeth reminded me of all I'd done. How I fought on through the tragic deaths of all I loved and my dreadful curse, how I refused to give in and Angelique had to turn my own town against me and lock me in an iron coffin buried deep within the ground to stop me from fighting. It seemed that Elizabeth was well informed in the details of my success, it was flattering to know my name had been passed down, despite disappearing so suddenly. But she was right! Of course she was right, she was the only person in the house that seemed to genuinely care, let alone actually speaking sense. It turned out I needed her whispering my past achievements in my ear to reassure me that I could lead a better life, and if Angelique tried to get in the way, I would have to stop her.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm updating really quickly at the moment! I just have a lot of ideas, so it's best to get them out as soon as possible!**

**Thanks for reviewing! And if you haven't, and you're enjoying it, let me know!**

**Chapter 3**

Beauty is something I had always had a weakness for.

It's strange to think that I, one who had never really cared about my outward appearance, seemed to have a strange obsession with anything attractive. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in most cases, that is true, and I have always been able to seek out and see the beauty in everything; the beauty of fine clothes as a child, and hand-made toys, and the colours in my bedroom. When I was older, the beauty in the landscape, the waves on the sea, the sun meeting the horizon, the rolling hills spreading ubiquitously into the distance and then of course, Angelique, and her beautiful body and sharp face. Then Josette and the purest form of beauty she practically radiated in her smile, and eyes, and golden hair. After I suffered my hideous fate, I lost that sense for years. I had lost all faith in good and humanity when I was locked in that box, but it was something that never completely abandoned you, and when back at Collinwood, it all came flooding back.

Sometimes you do need to look closely to see something's value. Though dilapidated, Collinwood was still beautiful and after 196 years, it had possibly never looked more magnificent. And maybe it was the pure elation of feeling finally free that made me admit to myself that probably every woman I'd come across in my old home, apart from dear Mrs Johnson of course, was indeed beautiful. It was undeniable and unsurprising that I found Victoria beautiful, being the spitting image of Josette and with her pretty pale face and pristine outlook, it was something so innocent and honest I couldn't ignore it. Then there was Dr Hoffman, who (I'm afraid I can't lie) had quite the interesting look, but not unattractive, although it was obvious she wasn't bothered about how others perceived her, but her natural beauty showed through at some moments, when she wasn't drunk or complaining, which wasn't very often actually. And of course, Elizabeth. I was still trying to decide where I stood on account of Elizabeth, she was welcoming, and warm-hearted, and yes, she was beautiful, but she wasn't without a certain fieriness that I certainly admired. In fact, as women go, I could think of no one better to head up the Collins family, but if she wasn't a distant relative, then what would I think of her? Would I still admire her? Of course. Would I think her beautiful? Undoubtedly. Would I, perhaps, find her attractive?

Anyway I'm getting off the point.

As per my weakness for beauty, I decided to get the whole family involved in refurbishing the house to be exactly as it was in my day. They seemed mostly enthusiastic, they probably just wanted better conditions to live in, as when it actually came to getting started, I didn't have a great deal of help at first, but within a few days, renovations were well under way.

It was on such a day that I found myself stood in one of the ancient and untouched room of the East Wing, a music room that Elizabeth said she hadn't entered for decades. It was really quite a splendid room, I remember watching it being built, and it was a shame for it to slowly crumble as it had. I was contemplating what to do with it when I heard the door creak open.

"Victoria!" I said, smiling as she walked, in her usual subdued manner, into the room.

"Hey Barnabus, I was looking for you. I'm afraid Elizabeth's getting a bit stressed because Roger is apparently 'impeding the work of the decorators'. Either way, there was too much shouting, and you're usually so quiet."

I smiled at this, tensions had indeed been running high recently and with Elizabeth running the operation, it was no wonder she took it out on Roger who, to be frank, was less than useless at the moment.

"I am honoured by your presence, madam, and nothing would give me more pleasure than to converse with you."

She blushed lightly at this and smiled. Odd, I received that smile a lot these days, like there was some humorous joke I was missing. I assumed it had something to do with my way of talking...

"Where exactly are you from?" she said, trying to smother her giggles.

"Liverpool in England..." I had to stop myself from informing her that I had then moved here, and that this was my parent's house.

"What's it like in England?" She asked, moving to sit down on the dusty couch.

"In Liverpool, it was rather filthy. Vile place, it was. I was glad to leave. But in other part of the country, it is really quite beautiful, rugged and a little rough around the edges, of course, but beautiful none the less."

She looked rather mesmerised, and her wide eyes, so like that of dear Josette, seemed to urge me on.

"It is a highly rural place. Outside the cities there is effectively nothing. And, if one doesn't mind the rain, it is the ideal spot for quiet contemplation and thought. It is a great conductor of creativity, the English countryside, yet it is easier to build a business empire here in America, with more people and space. I would of course like to return to my homeland someday though."

"I would love to go myself," said Josette, I mean...erm...Victoria "New York was too big and scary for someone like me. But I can imagine England would be scary too...if I went alone..."

"Well if I ever get the opportunity, I shall escort you there myself, madam."

Her face lit up with a luminescent smile. I had obviously said the right thing. The whole act of conversing with her was rather surreal to me. It was like talking to my long lost love, only I didn't feel the same glow in my heart as I had done when in the presence of Josette. I do not doubt that Victoria would make a highly suitable partner, but that moment, I had an odd craving for excitement, for something different from the quiet and restrained personality of this creature. Not to mention how young she was, highly inappropriate age-wise.

Despite this, we sat and spoke pleasantly for a while. Her knowledge was limited, as though she'd been absent from the world, but she was so eager to learn I told her everything she asked. It was strange, I had lived too many years and she had lived too few. I knew so much from experience and she had hardly any. Still, she was a delightful woman in manner and character, if slightly bland, but I liked that in a woman. She certainly seemed taken with me, which I was rather smug about, and we had several things in common.

Yes, I could certainly live under the same roof as this girl. Whether I would feel the drive to try and re-kindle a lost love with my deceased wife's doppelganger was not apparent at that time.

After the workmen came in to inspect the room, Victoria left in search of David and Elizabeth entered to discuss what we were doing with the room. She looked rather exasperated, her usually pristine blonde curls had gained some extra volume and her blue eyes danced with fire. She was breathing heavily, probably regaining her breath after arguing with her brother over something or other. She stammered slightly as she tried to keep her temper in check.

"S-so," she swallowed "What's your plan for this room?" She crossed her arms over her chest and scanned the room, analysing every feature.

"Well it could do with some midnight blue on that wall-"

"DON'T TOUCH THAT! It's an antique! That is hand crafted mahogany!" she chided as a workman sat down on a chair that we had brought over from Liverpool with us. He bolted upright immediately and shifted awkwardly, as if looking for something to do.

She sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Barnabus. What were you saying?"

"Are you alright, madam?"

She gave a shaky laugh.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit...agitated. No one is actually doing what I asked them to and it's as though everyone is just...against me today. It's probably just because this is the house of your parents and I just want everything to be perfect and if someone messes something up I'll blame myself and-"

"Elizabeth," I said, turning her to face me "Everything will be fine. There is no need to worry, I will oversee things this afternoon, go and calm down. You have been working admirably for days now and it's obviously getting to you."

She looked rather relieved and sighed again. Raising a slender hand to her face, she brushed a curl from her eyes and rubbed her brow.

"Maybe I am wound a bit tightly at the moment. I'm sorry, Barnabus, it's just you and Victoria and David and Angie and so much has changed. A household this big will certainly take some getting used to."

"You are doing phenomenally well at the moment, my dear, and we are all thankful. Now, go and sit down, leave this to me. If I make a mistake, I give you my express permissions to scold me afterwards."

She smiled at me and laughed quietly. Giving the room a quick last scan before admitting defeat, she turned to leave.

"Thank you, Barnabus. You're a life-saver."

As I watched her leave, my only thought was "Oh, if only you knew, I am quite the contrary, my dear."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again! Well, this is progressing at quite a nice rate! Just want to clarify, this is AU, obviously, as Barnabeth is not canon, but it will follow the basic film plot, and will probably veer off in a different direction towards the end. **

**Clara x**

**PS – Please review and tell me what you think, I love feedback!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Dark Shadows. I don't even own the DVD yet, as it's not available in the UK until October 15****th****. Don't even get me started on that...**

**Chapter 4:**

It was not a particularly enjoyable experience, being crushed into the backseat of the strange, horseless carriage (which Elizabeth had referred to as a "Chevy"?) in which we were to ride down to Collinsport so I could see what was left of my family's cannery.

After Angelique's impromptu visit and Elizabeth's reassuring words, I was absolutely determined to help what's left of my family to return to the wealth and prosperity that, because of me, had been taken from them generations before. While refurbishing the house was simple enough, the Collinses needed a ready source of income, and I knew exactly how the fishing business worked out here.

I sat, crushed in the back of the "Chevy" with Carolyn in the seat on my right, and Roger in the seat to my left. Victoria and David were seated in the very back of the "car". Elizabeth had assumed the front seat, whilst the drunken groundkeeper, Willie I believe he was called, took it upon himself to drive us there. Carolyn had some sort of music-playing device strapped to her ears, a wonderful invention indeed, and David was staring absent-mindedly out of the window, he looked as far away as ever. Roger, on the other hand, looked extremely uncomfortable for some reason, as though he would rather be anywhere but there, and his eyes kept flicking between every person in the vehicle. Elizabeth, as not to arouse suspicion, had agreed to wear dark glasses so I wouldn't stand out as much, as it was rather too sunny for my taste. She stared straight ahead out of the large window at the front, her brow furrowed in concentration, clearly thinking through something thoroughly. Victoria was looking innocent as ever, her pretty pale face a vision of placidity as she gazed at the passing scenery, looking completely at peace with herself. I envied her.

On arrival, I must admit I was horrified at the dilapidated, run-down appearance of the Collinses' cannery which had once stood so proud and prosperous. Elizabeth led the way to the main double doors, high-heeled shoes echoing on the timber boarding, and unlocked the doors. All seven of us, heavens knows where Dr Hoffman had got to, stared rather pitifully at what remained of the once-great factory.

The inside consisted mainly of rotting wood and fish skeletons, the occasional tin can strewn across the wooden flooring, worn smooth by years of busy workers hurrying back and forth. The roof was caving in at some points and rusting machinery stood where it always had, only out of use.

After a few minutes, Elizabeth clapped her hands together.

"Well, some obvious work is needed, but..." she glanced at me and smirked "I think we can afford whatever work is needed."

Indeed we could, with what's under the drawing room we could afford to restore the cannery three times over.

There were a few murmured exchanges among the family but everyone gave a confirmatory nod.

It turns out Elizabeth had spent a large proportion of the night before drafting up plans for rebuilding the whole factory. After spreading them out and showing them to me, I decided that, with a few minor adjustments, it would be simple and, though slightly expensive, perfect in its function. Her, Willie, Roger, Victoria and I spent the next half an hour planning the exact changes that needed to be made while Carolyn stood outside, listening to her music and soaking in the sunlight, and David walked to the water's edge and proceeded to talk apparently to himself.

After the whole area had been measured and the plans modified, I decided to take a stroll around the town I used to know so well. I asked Victoria to accompany me while Elizabeth and Roger inquired about workmen for hire in the renovation of the cannery, and in reply she beamed and took my arm as we headed towards Collinsport.

"It's a beautiful little town" she said, as we arrived in the town centre, gazing around the brightly coloured shops with a huge variety of fascinating object glittering in their windows.

"It was even more so a few centuries back...I believe." I quickly corrected myself, hoping she didn't notice my minor slip up.

She laughed. "Yes well I think everything was a few centuries ago, before tourism spread here." She thought for a moment. "So you are new here, just like me."

"Yes, I am indeed."

"Well, you certainly know your way around this town well for someone who has never been here before."

I swallowed, remembering the promise I made to Elizabeth.

"I have a natural sense of direction that is potent wherever I may be."

She laughed again, the high pitched tinkle so much like that of Josette. I wonder if she ever felt the desire to laugh properly.

"Have I amused thee?"

"No...well, um...yes actually. You speak so differently to anyone I've ever heard. Of course, I've never been to England, but do they really talk like that over there?"

I paused for a minute.

"I apologise, I do not notice the way I speak, it is no different from everyone I have encountered back in my homeland."

"Well I love it, it's so traditional."

"I am glad it does not bother thee."

"So, a natural sense of direction, eh? Where should we go then? Lead the way."

I smiled as she leant closer to me. She was either very friendly, or she felt already comfortable around me. Her company was pleasant, if slightly monotonous and repetitive, but predictability was something I admired in a woman.

On returning to Collinwood, I was seated in the back seat again only Elizabeth was sat on my left as Roger had hurried to get the front seat. As Willie turned a key, causing the whole machine to give a rather disconcerting rumble, she turned to face me, removing her sunglasses.

"Well, we're finally on the right track."

I smiled. "Yes. It feels invigorating to be doing something useful at last."

"And we couldn't have done it without you, Barnabus. Thank you for everything, I mean, you've hardly been here two weeks and you've already done more than I have in all the years I've lived in Collinwood!"

"That is most gracious of you, madam. I must say, you really have thrown yourself into it, more so than I expected."

She sighed. "I just want to regain some respect for this family, you know, like it used to be. I want Carolyn and David to grow up being proud of where they came from."

"Your motives are admirable, and I am eternally grateful for how welcome you've made me feel, especially in my...situation..."

She smiled again and shook her head. "Think nothing of it, you're family."

She took her sunglasses off her forehead and folded them into their case, then ran a hand distractedly through her hair. She smelled...incredible...like flowers and spices, something in her hair product, maybe? Either way I found myself fighting the urge to lean in and inhale more of it. My thought pattern must have shown on my face for a moment, because she gave me a slightly confused look, then sighed and directed her gaze out of the window.

I spent the rest of the journey home breathing through my mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favourite this story. I would thank everyone who read it, but unless you do any/all of those three things, I don't know you exist!**

**Anyway, allons-y! **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own Dark Shadows, blah blah blah, you know the drill, please don't sue me.**

**Chapter 5:**

It had been an odd week.

Of course, not as odd as the week before, when I had escaped my iron prison and literally stumbled into a world which made no legitimate sense to me, but odd none the less.

The atmosphere in the house was an odd one, things had settled down since my arrival, of course, with the family and staff accepting me as one who would be staying a while, but since we had all pulled together to get the work done, I had felt attitudes shifting.

The two children did not attend school at that time as they were on "summer vacation" which meant that David would spend most of his time doing the strangest of things such as hiding in closets and lying down in the over grown jungle of the garden, all of this while talking, quite contentedly, with himself. Carolyn on the other hand, was hardly seen during the day, as she remained in her room with the door shut and that terrible racket she called music bellowing out from that general area. Then again, teenagers have always gone through a phase similar to this before they reach adulthood, granted mine was only a few months, but everyone's different, I suppose. Roger could usually be found in the "living room" as they called it, watching the magic light-box or reading a newspaper. He would sometimes disappear off in the Chevy and not return for hours without telling anyone where he went, but I had other things to worry about as opposed to the mysterious escapades of the man of the house. Although, though I never thought I'd ever say anything like this, it seemed that the role of "man of the house" had fallen inexplicably to Elizabeth, who every day would sit in her study for hours at a time, organising paperwork and finance and devoting her entire schedule to the upkeep of the family. Victoria, who as always had shown no signs of being anything less than perfectly content in these strange surroundings, was usually speaking with David, when she could find him, writing in her journal, or reading. She didn't speak much, only when spoken to, so much like my dear Josette, but in this day and age when women were apparently outspoken and powerful, it left one rather unsatisfied.

Dr Hoffman had a less regular pattern to her routine; she would turn up late to breakfast, sometimes not at all, drink some remedy for her hangover, and then retreat back into her laboratory in the basement. She would emerge occasionally but unpredictably, either to look for David, or discuss something with Elizabeth, or occasionally, and not-so-subtly, follow me around. I would glance over my shoulder while inspecting some of the house's woodwork, and she would be there, leaning in the doorway, her head cocked to one side and just observe me. I appeared to have fascinated her. The look she wore was one of confusion, as if she was trying to figure me out, rather than accepting who I was as Elizabeth had. I wondered if she could be trusted. She was a doctor, and a friend of the family's, so surely she could? But there was something broken and mysterious in her eyes, the way she held herself with so little dignity, the way she felt she needed to consume amounts of alcohol that even sailors wouldn't dare to drink just in order to get through the day. Yes, something was amiss here...

I was watching from a window as Victoria ventured along the coastline outside the grounds of Collinwood one day, peacefully observing her delicate movements to give myself a piece of mind about Josette's untimely passing, when I heard high heels approach the doorway. I wasn't surprised when I looked round and was confronted with the floral dress and orange hair of the doctor, as I had picked up on her habit.

"May I assist you in any way, madam?" I asked, turning away from the window to face her.

She stood for a moment without speaking, her head tilted to the side in her oh-so familiar gesture, bright curls brushing her shoulders.

"I don't get you, Barnabas. You've been here for, what, two weeks? And in that time you've turned this household upside down, which is more than I've done in four years."

"I assure you, madam, I am only doing my duty. Family is the most important thing a man could possess; I wouldn't be much of a man if I let this household continue to slowly crumble around you all."

She was quiet for another moment, biting her lip and narrowing her eyes.

"You're strange, something ain't right here. I may have to drag you down to my lab at some point"

"I can assure you, madam, I am quite alright, in fact I find labour of this sort positively invigorating."

"Yeah, enough with the madam, I get enough of that here. Julia or nothing."

"Forgive me, Julia, I did not wish to offend thee."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. It seems that while the rest of the family found my dialect interesting, endearing or otherwise humorous, Julia apparently found it irritating.

"'S'all right. You didn't know."

She walked over to stand beside me. I noticed that apart from being a little rough around the edges, her alcoholism had had very little effect on her generally pleasing appearance.

"Still watching Vicky, then? I thought you'd stopped that. If you like her, go talk to her"

"You misunderstand my intentions, Julia. I observe from afar because of the striking resemblance she bears to my long lost love, it is a sweet torture I put myself through regularly, having her so close and yet so far away. I'm afraid it is the only way to settle my conscience."

Her dark eyes flicked between me standing next to her and Victoria by the shoreline.

"So you did have a girl? How long ago was that?"

Ah, now I realised I must be careful if I wished to keep my promise to Elizabeth.

"Many years ago, though it feels like so few. Josette, her name was, my one true love. She was the sweetest and most dainty thing you had ever seen, sunny in nature, warm in smile, with golden hair like spun sunlight. She was my existence until tragedy, and circumstance most cruel, stole her from me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Barnabas," she mumbled, her gaze still fixed on Victoria "So that's why you said Josette when she came in for breakfast the first time you met!"

"Indeed, she is the spitting image of my lost bride, and I mourn her by observing Victoria. But alas, I would not love Victoria purely because she looks like Josette. I have accepted that that part of my life is over, and I must never return to it. My love is gone, I shall not seek Victoria to replace her."

"Probably best. She's an odd one too, Vicky. There is definitely something in her past she is trying to forget...but of course, I shouldn't pry, I'm paid to work with David."

"Of course."

"But, if you ever need any help, I'm a shoulder to cry on." She said with a small smirk.

I smiled "Much appreciated, Doctor Hoffman."

From then on I was even more acutely aware of her observing me, while I observed Victoria.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you once more to everyone who reviewed! I know I'm just anonymous text on a screen, but I really appreciate it, so you're making me happy! **

**Oh and my Dark Shadows DVD came yesterday, so I have even more motivation!**

**Sorry this one's short, the next will be longer, I promise!**

**DISCLAIMER: I. Do. Not. Own. Dark. Shadows. In fact, I think we all know this, I just **_**really**_** don't want to get sued.**

**Chapter 6:**

I watched with high spirits as Elizabeth pushed the button that would officially open the newly renovated cannery. The family stood on the podium, smiling for the cameras as they took pictures of the success that had arisen out of the depth of degradation and hardship...either that or they were all interested in the new competition for the highly grossing business of Angel Bay.

I gritted my teeth together, a bit too hard it turns out, as I felt the tips of my fangs sink into my lip. I would _not_ lose to her. Never! She, whose business had grown successful on the failure and trampling of my own. Still, things were currently going very well. I had formed a stable and appropriate relationship with every member of the household (well, where possible), I'd recovered my coffin so I could actually get a decent night's sleep and I'd greatly adjusted to everyday life in this peculiar age.

It was then that I saw a familiar platinum blonde head across the dock. Angelique stood, appearance immaculate as always, glaring openly at the crowd gathered to witness the opening. My stomach turned, this would mean trouble. It was highly unlikely that she would just leave us be. No, she would stop at nothing to destroy everything, just as she did the first time, unless I stopped her. I had mixed feelings about that. Angelique was vicious, ruthless and conscious-less and was perfectly capable of just conjuring a quick spell to ruin all we had built. Perhaps she would once again take it out on my family; curse the children and Roger and...Elizabeth...

No, I wouldn't let her. Nor would I allow her to send a perfectly innocent girl hurtling unknowingly off Widows' Peak purely because she resembles Josette. I would nip her power in the bud, stop her before it was too late, but first I had some business to attend to.

-)(-

It really wasn't hard to seal the success of our budding industry. All I required was a testimony from Willie as to where the common place for fishing folk to dwell was, and then approach the shabby yet homely tavern in Collinsport. In the far corner of the tavern, sat at a single table beside the wall, I found the man who was responsible for most of the fisherman and their boats in the town. He was very loyal to Angel Bay, perhaps maybe too loyal, but either way, a little...persuasion...on my behalf did the trick and he willingly signed all his men and vessels over to us.

Later that evening, I found myself somewhat...distracted for a good ten minutes. I was on my way to my private quarters when I passed by Carolyn's room. Standing on a small table, glowing like fire, was a most marvellous object. It was long and thin, but bulged in the middle and was filled with a clear orange liquid. Floating around in that liquid, as though completely alien, were globules of something that had the colour and consistency of blood. So mesmerising was the image, that I found myself crouching on the steps to the bedroom, luckily the girl was downstairs, utterly transfixed by the mystical device.

It wasn't until the familiar brazen voice of the Doctor rang through the hallway that I was roused from my state.

"Barnabas, why are you staring into Caroyln's room?"

"What is that _thing_?"

"It's a lamp."

A lamp? Was she sure? It was emitting some light, but not a great deal, and what manner of lamp could be so...hypnotic. I began to grow thirsty from looking at it.

"It looks like a...pulsating blood urn..." I choked out.

There was a moment of silence before she sighed in hopelessness.

"I think it's time I showed you my office, Barnabas."


	7. Chapter 7

**So here we are again! Another chapter!**

**I'm sorry it's been so long, I had to jet off to LA to see my brother, which was fantastic, thanks for asking. It was lovely to come home to people's responses to my story, so thank you.**

**Anyway, I know different people are reading this for different pairings and I can't always please everyone by writing the pairing they ship all the time, so I've tried my best.**

**Clara x**

**DISCLAIMER: I do own a copy of Dark Shadows which I have now watched at least 12 times, including with the audio description which is HILARIOUS and I recommend it to everyone It certainly enhances the experience! But I do not own Dark Shadows as a whole, I'm sorry.**

**Chapter 7:**

I remember very little about my session with Dr Hoffman. She started by explaining the characteristics of the species of American delicacy known as "psychiatrist" and then informed me that she was one. So, a doctor of the mind, I have always prided myself on being mentally and psychologically strong, especially after what I had been through, and yet it became increasingly hard to lie to her as she asked more questions.

I answered the one about where I was born, that wasn't betraying Elizabeth, but I might have been a bit too vivid in the details to be inconspicuous. She then told me that people often invent fantasy worlds in which to retreat to compensate for horrors in their past and I believed her to be considering this for my predicament. So, she thought I was lying about my home town and situation, well, that was rather unworthy of her.

Either way, I managed to hold up my end of my promise to Elizabeth for a while. Until, of course, she brought up hypnotism, and I let my guard down by informing her of my acquaintance with it. She asked if she could hypnotise me, I should have said no, I suppose, but like I said, it was getting harder to refuse her. I felt guilty, and I was honestly quite curious to see what her attempt at hypnotising would involve. She produced a pocket watch and swung it in front of me, her pale face the vision of serenity, for once. I found the whole affair rather amusing.

I never expected it to actually work.

The next few hours were a blur. A blur of contorted images from my past and truth I couldn't withhold and the flaming orange and snow white of Dr Hoffman. When I came back to my senses, my throat hurt as if strained by talking and the doctor was nowhere to be seen, the door left wide open, meaning she had made a quick exit. "Oh dear," I thought to myself "What have I done?"

If I had in fact told her everything, I would be disappointed in myself. I had broken a promise to Elizabeth, which I really hadn't wanted to do, and my pleasant, if slightly unconventional rapport with Julia would be all but ruined.

It seemed that my biggest secret wouldn't stay that way for very long in this environment.

-)(-

"Words cannot describe the remorse I am feeling at this unfortunate predicament." I stood in front of the large wooden dark in Elizabeth's office, having been summoned there by the woman herself.

"You know, your way of talking in such over-exaggerated phrases does really take the meaning from them and it just sounds sarcastic." She said without looking up.

I flinched. I had never heard her use that icy tone before. It turns out Julia had been successful in her endeavours and, after I had told her everything unknowingly, she had run straight to Elizabeth to confront her about it. I had broken mine and Elizabeth's confidence. What I said was the truth: I was filled to the brim with regret. And we had been getting along so well...

I should have just said no to Julia's study, rather than giving in to arrogance.

"I'm afraid I can do nothing but apologise and beg for your forgiveness. We had an agreement and I broke it-"

"I'm afraid it's more than that, Barnabas." She interrupted in the same harsh tone. She looked up at me through her glasses, jaw clenched and colour high in her cheeks. She did look rather fantastic while irate...

Not the time, Barnabas! Have some respect.

"Julia is not the most stable of people, everyone in this town knows that, and you threatened the credibility of this family by letting your guard slip, potentially causing us to lose what little affluence and position we have left. This isn't about me, or our agreement, I asked you to keep your...condition a secret for a reason! For the good of this family! A family to which you yourself belong and should be protecting rather than endangering."

She paused for a moment and her face momentarily softened.

"And for yourself, Barnabas. Protect yourself, please. If any authorities, or anyone in fact more dangerous than Dr Hoffman, discovered your secret, the consequences would be terrible. In our society, horrible things happen to people who are...different. The last thing I want is for you to become some sort of freak show. We owe you so much."

Great. Just what I needed at that moment: more guilt. She was honestly concerned, again. It would be easier to defend myself if she wasn't so caring. And of course, as usual, she was completely right, I would need to be more careful in the future.

"The last thing _I_ wanted was to betray your trust. You have done so much for me, Elizabeth, it was the least I could do, and I failed you. You have every right to be resentful."

She sighed, took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes for a moment. She had been rather stressed at that time...and I had just made it worse...

"You know what, Barnabas, I'm sorry. I should not have snapped like that, I guess I'm just tired. It wasn't your fault, Julia hypnotised you and you had no control over what you told her. I don't blame her either, she was only being curious. She had no idea the damage she could do. I blame myself, thinking I could keep you a secret and expecting you to be able to cope with that on your own. It was inevitable, I suppose."

"Elizabeth, this really is, in no way, your fault. You cannot possibly see it that way..."

"Well I might as well take responsibility. Someone's got to, right? Besides, it's ok, Julia has agreed not to tell anyone, although I think you've really got her attention now." She said, smiling at me from her seat.

"Well thank goodness!" I said. Noticing the look she gave me, I realised my mistake. "That she won't tell anyone, I mean. Not that she's interested in me...I mean, not like that-I don't really have an opinion one way or another. She...I mean, she is already-well, to sat that-"

I was broken off by the sounds of her laughing. A proper laugh, not a polite giggle, or a brazen chortle, or a mocking, snigger, a proper, gleeful laugh. Her eyes glittered and a smile broke out across her face, the lines around her lips becoming slightly more prominent. It was the sound of happiness and carefree times of youth. I considered than that I had perhaps never seen anything more radiant.

"Oh Barnabas, for one with such a way with words, you make quite the awkward speeches when under pressure. Don't worry about Julia, she's usually drunk or asleep, and if she does manage to apprehend you, I'll send immediate help. Although, she might take some sedating after what she usually takes during the day."

Soon I was laughing along with her, and it was blissful, to feel so carefree and young, if only for a few moments. It seems that kindness does bring out the best in people, and maybe my stay at Collinwood wouldn't be as hard, or rather as lonely, and I had first thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**And here we are, another chapter! Responses are all positive at the moment which gives me so much confidence and I think the majority are rooting for Barnabas/Elizabeth, which means I've managed to turn some people, so thank you everyone!**

**Reviews are welcomed with open arms. I won't give you anything if you review, just my love.**

**P.S. I am basing this story on the FILM of Dark Shadows. I am not familiar at all with the original TV series so some stuff will probably be different. It's called creative license. **

**DISCLAIMER: Should just copy and paste this. I DONT OWN DARK SHADOWS.**

**Chapter 8:**

As I have previously stated, I had tried as much as possible to avoid Carolyn.

The girl was argumentative and more than slightly temperamental, and so I thought it best if I didn't get too involved in her personal affairs, that way perhaps she would keep an open mind about me.

However, I did realise that Carolyn was a Collins, and therefore family. She was Elizabeth's daughter and I felt I should at least attempt to seem acceptable in her eyes, and not to let another person in on my secret.

Whenever I was in close proximity of her, I noticed she would repeat the word "weird" over and over again. I understood, she thought I was abnormal, and no doubt I was to such a young, modern thing. But then it hit me; what if others thought I was as well? Was I being too conspicuous? If I continued to work on the cannery renovations, would I arouse suspicion with my foreign accent and out-of-date mannerisms? I was trying my absolute hardest to acclimatise to the time period, but I was finding it increasingly difficult, and people were definitely starting to suspect. Something Carolyn said gave me an idea. She said I had to "hang out with some more normal people." Well, that seemed simple enough.

I decided therefore that the next evening, I would try to mingle inconspicuously with some youth of the age.

-)(-

Taking the rolled up cylinder of alight paper from the unshaven young person on my right, I politely shook my head and passed it on to the young wench on my left. I was having a highly informative, in-depth discussion with the youth of Collinsport. They had innovative ideas of the topic of romance, and I found myself altogether rather engrossed in this discussion. Yes, I could remember what it was like to love; the warmth, the adoration, the desperation, and of course, the pain. I missed her, truth be told. I missed the promise of a future with the one I loved. Josette was dead and buried and the thought filled me with sadness. There would be no future.

Of course, I was immortal now, and so not entirely opposed to advancing into the battle field that is romance in this day and age; I did not wish to spend eternity alone. However, that was the problem: if I ever did fall in love again, she would grow old, she would die, and I would live on, miserable, alone and untouched by the caress of time. Unless I turned her...

No. I was enough of a monster already without signing some poor woman up for this life of torment as well.

"Girls don't care about money...or sheep."

Really? That was quite a revelation. I remember the large dowry I handed over to Josette's father for the honour of her hand. Sheep were not an area of business we were involved in, but I hear it happened back in England.

"Love, man! Chicks dig love!"

I didn't fully understand what that meant, I must admit. I got the message though. In 1972, such a payment was not required as the basis of a union. How odd! Love, love was the key. That didn't come as such a shock.

I quoted a phrase from a novel I was reading at the time entitled "Love Story" to general approval. These young people were rather luminous and interesting. They spoke of war and peace and the balance of the two, they had facial hair that could match that of any sorcerer, and they were open and welcoming to me. Unfortunately, it had been far too long since such a perfect opportunity arose, and I hadn't had a drink in weeks...

"It is, therefore, with deepest regret, that I now must kill all of you."

-)(-

"...And she just crawled right out of the car and fell directly on her head! There was a huge bruise and I thought she might have seriously injured herself! But she didn't cry! Not once! She loved the attention, I think."

I laughed softly as Elizabeth looked fondly down at the picture of an infant Carolyn on the desk in front of her. It had been a quiet evening, no arguments, no odd occurrences, just a family meal, and now most people had slunk off to bed. I had sat with Elizabeth in the drawing room for a while as we discussed further plans for our business, but we ended up veering off at a tangent and Elizabeth had told me various stories from hers and her daughter's childhoods. It was all fascinating; they grew up in a completely different way than I had done. It seems, however, that clumsiness did indeed run in the family.

"She sounds like she was a delightfully difficult child."

"Yes, she was. She's my life, of course, but yes, quite a handful at times with just me."

Something had been nagging me for the past few weeks and now seemed like a prime opportunity to ask. I knew it was personal, but I hoped not so personal that she would find me rash or rude. Surely it couldn't be that bad?

"May I ask, where is Carolyn's father?"

She turned to look at me and smiled sadly. She pressed her lips together, walked over to the sofa and sat down with a sigh. She indicated that I should join her, I did so gladly. Maybe now I would get some answers.

"Barnabas, you've probably noticed it isn't something we talk about, the elephant in the room, if you will. This is because I want Carolyn to have as normal a childhood as possible, and part of that is trying to get her to forget everything about him."

She bit her lip and looked down at her hands folded conservatively in her lap. I didn't want to push her too far, I was genuinely curious, but I didn't want to upset her with my persistence.

"I have noticed, yes. Neither of the children in this house have both parents."

She nodded solemnly.

"Poor Laura was lost at sea two years ago. She died with all her family loving her and was given a respectable funeral where everyone to whom she mattered came and said goodbye. It wasn't like that with my husband."

She paused for a moment. I said nothing, silently pleading for her to continue.

"Richard Stoddard. I married him when I was 29. Carolyn came soon after; a year maybe. I suppose I was in love with him, or at least fancied myself to be. Either way, we were happy. He was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and in general, my family disapproved. I was blinded by him, I guess."

I felt I needed to say something here.

"What happened?"

She took a deep breath and tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear; a mannerism I've noticed her doing frequently.

"We weren't enough. For the first two years of Carolyn's life, he couldn't get enough of her. He behaved like a father and husband should and we were happy, very happy. I don't know what happened to change things but, it's like he got bored. And then it was the usual; alcohol, violence, arguments, cheating. He was the perfect terrible husband. He blamed me a lot, said some truly awful things. In the end I guess two people like us couldn't live in the same environment without explosive results."

She stopped to clasp her hands together and look out of the window. I waited.

"And then one day, after another fight about his 'close personal friend' he had been seeing a lot of, Carolyn was screaming her head off and I just lost it and said either he sit up, become a proper dad and decent husband, or he could leave. For a moment I thought I'd got through to him. He was gone the next morning."

There was a moment of silence when she just sat staring out of the window. I watched her blinking the tears from her eyes stubbornly. No weakness, ever, that's what she'd learnt from him.

"Elizabeth..."

"Look, it's fine. Really. It's just been a while since I've talked about it. It's over, in the past. I just want...oh God...all I want, is to protect her. It's good he's gone, I couldn't have been sure if he was still around, and my responsibility is to her. Good riddance."

I opened my mouth to say something and then decided against it. The answer was worse than I had imagined. To abandon one's family is the greatest sin a man can commit. I put my hand on hers and she turned to give me a reassuring smile.

"Honestly, I'm fine now. I'm glad I told you, instead of you finding out from someone else."

She rose out of her seat. There was so much sadness in her eyes. Guilt started to gnaw away at me. Why did you bring it up, Barnabas?!

"Well, I'd better go to bed." She said, regaining her composure.

It was almost an involuntary action when I stood up as well and embraced her. I've never been good with sorrow, especially when it was my fault, even more so when it came to someone like Elizabeth.

She seemed slightly shocked, but soon relaxed into it. I heard her sigh sadly, she was probably stewing in all the bad memories I'd brought rushing back. Well done, old chap.

I stood for a few minutes, just holding her and hoping I hadn't made anything worse. She was so small and fragile, so very breakable, especially for me. I reminded myself that I had to be careful around everyone; I didn't know my own strength.

She pulled away and hurried out of the room before I could see her tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm back! Sorry it's been a while, I had so much school work to do! Still, once more into the breach! Short one again, but it needed doing!**

**DISCLAIMER: As per, I don't own Dark Shadows, if I did, it would have ended quite differently.**

**Chapter 9:**

It wasn't long, I recall, before I started to attend regular sessions with Doctor Hoffman. She had insisted that it was necessary for me to continue with my existence in the modern world as a vampire, and she was going to attempt to reverse the effects of the spell. I doubted she would get very far, not being a witch herself, but at that point I was more than willing to try anything that might cure me of my unique condition.

Her theory was that if she could get enough human blood circulating my veins, it might manipulate my DNA into thinking I had returned to my original state and mean I was free of my curse. Of course, they was a very high chance this wouldn't work, as she informed me one afternoon as she skilfully inserted the tube into the vein on my wrist. Either way, surely it could do no harm? I just had to make sure I didn't go into a frenzy and drain the blood bank dry.

I had tried and failed to keep my thoughts away from my exchange with Elizabeth. It's true, I felt so guilty at bringing back bad memories, but it was what she had told me that really hit home. It was no wonder she was effectively the leader of the household, she had been strengthened by her past experiences and probably felt the need to make sure her family didn't suffer as she had. I could not imagine, for some reason, Elizabeth bowing to the will of any man. She seemed to have too strong a character for that, and it must have been a very special situation in which she had accepted an inferior role. I was hardly one to judge, of course, given my past experience with romance, and I respected her for finding the power to stand up to him and deliver an ultimatum, choosing the safety of her child over her relationship with her husband. I never knew him, and yet I couldn't help but hate him, and be thankful that he was out of all their lives.

I drew my mind once more into the present as Doctor Hoffman set up the blood pump. She was wearing a green dress, simple enough, but form-fitting, it looked nice on her, I thought absent-mindedly. Her hair was in its usual soft curls and her skin was as pale as ever, her lips as red and her nails as bright. The spectacles perched on her small nose miraculously transformed her from a middle aged drunk to a doctor, professional and serious. I liked it.

She asked me why I would want to give up the "gift" of immortality. I almost laughed at this. Was it not clear how much I resented myself? How much I despised this hideous creature I had become? Eternal youth and near-invincibility meant nothing when those you loved grew old around you and your conscience was weighed down by the burden of how many innocent lives you had taken, just to quench your thirst. She didn't see it that way, she thought only of staying young and beautiful. She then proceeded to make a rather offhand comment.

"I mean look at me, every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk."

This struck me as odd. Did she think she was not pretty? Could she see none of the obvious attraction that I saw? She _was_ pretty, definitely, a little run down perhaps, but naturally pleasing to look at. As I continually to say, I was not used to the dialect of that time, so made what I thought was a perfect casual remark, intended to push the ridiculous notion out of her head and compliment her.

"If that is true, madam, then you must have started as the most beautiful woman in the world."

This made her pause, her brow furrowed like she was confused, then a ghost of a smile flitted over her lips.

She turned to face me, taking her glasses off to better observe me. She then asked me if I knew what "doctor-patient confidentiality" meant. I told her no, I didn't. I of course understood the words but did not understand what she meant in context. I then asked her if she would care to demonstrate, which I maybe should have thought about before I said it.

And demonstrate she did. Looking back, maybe it wasn't the best idea, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to stop her. Then I realised it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, nothing really came of it, and it was a chance to blow off some steam, and to get to know her a bit better, despite the fact there wasn't much discussion involved, it all happened rather quickly. She seemed fairly casual about it as well, taking out a cigarette afterwards and exhaling smoke through the open window, the vision of nonchalance. And yes, she was pretty, if not beautiful, and I certainly didn't regret telling her, but I couldn't help but wonder what this meant the future held for us. Was this a one off? Or did she intend it to be a recurring thing? And what would happen if any of the others found out? Oh well, it wasn't any of their business anyway. Doctor Hoffman turned away from the window, smoking cigarette in hand and gave me a small, reassuring smile. One thing was certain, this had only strengthened our working relationship.


End file.
